You know how some people just blame others?

They can’t stand criticism or losing. They constantly have to prove they’re better than you.

Why?

Because if they don’t, they are a loser, a nobody, a massive failure. It’s who they are.

Their sense of worth is inherent in their talent, not in their effort or ability to improve.

Your mindset may keep you from living your best life.

 

The two mindsets

In her book Mindset, Carol S. Dweck writes about the fixed and the growth mindset.

They paint up different worlds with very different outcomes. Now it’s up to you choose which one you wish to subscribe to.

At least, you’ll always have a choice.

The Fixed Mindset

The fixed mindset subscribes to the scarcity model of life. That is, there is only so much talent and money in the world.

Which means that you’re constantly competing with others. People with a fixed mindset believe there isn’t anything you can do about your intelligence, artistry, or who you are as a person.

You were born smart or dumb.

You were born a “creative person” or a “boring person”. And you just have to deal with it.

It’s a very bleak portrait of the world.

Basically, the fixed mindset says you can’t improve. Instead, you have to prove your talent.

Tennis player John McEnroe is a great example.

He had plenty of talent; we all know that. But his fixed mindset controlled his temper on the court. He blamed everything and everyone but himself. He lost the opportunity to learn from his mistakes just so he could demonstrate his innate talent.

What a pity.

The Growth Mindset

The growth mindset promotes the abundance model of life. It says talent and money can be made.

Which means that you’re constantly co-operating with others to improve yourself.

Of course, it won’t come out of thin air. We know that growth is usually painful (if you’ve forgotten this principle, take a trip to the gym and feel how sore your muscles get).

But the growth mindset doesn’t ignore the value of talent. Some people are more talented than others; there’s no denying that.

What the growth mindset values more is the power of effort.

Look at people like Michael Jordan, Muhammed Ali, and J.K. Rowling.

They all fought long and hard before they reached the top and stayed there. On their journey, they saw rejection as an invitation to improve.

In short, the growth mindset helps you improve. It encourages you to take on bigger challenges and stronger, more worthy opponents.

Because you don’t fear losing. You fear standing still.

Which mindset will you choose?

Research shows that your mindset greatly impacts your life, the way you deal with setbacks and success.

Do you let fixed traits control your life? Try to approach this area with a growth mindset. Ask what you want to learn from the situation, and remember to be kind to yourself.

Want more help to change your mindset? Read this article next: What is the difference between optimists and pessismists?